


saturday nights

by joonswig



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Coming of Age, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Seo Changbin is Whipped, changbin wants to give felix the world, felix has a shitty family (not elaborated upon much), felix is a virgo, felix is tired, naturally, so they get high together, sorta - Freeform, subtle critique of capitalism, thank u khalid for my life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 05:26:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18381869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joonswig/pseuds/joonswig
Summary: "i'm in love with you.""you're stoned, that's what you are," felix tells him





	saturday nights

**Author's Note:**

> uh yeah you can clearly see i hate senior year and that i don't know what weed looks like, anyways
> 
> now with a [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/hanghangoverbang/playlist/2v81XyLdXIBNgw17wTbEX3?si=fB65sctTR22JYmryN7IvTA)

he folds the rolling paper along the crease and spreads the weed evenly. once it’s filled enough, he shapes it into a cone and rolls between his fingers. he licks the glued side of the paper to seal the joint in place. he’s wearing a denim jacket, so he grabs the string of felix’s hoodie to pack the tip. it elicits a tired, almost inaudible giggle from the younger, which changbin doesn’t fail to miss. he turns to look at felix, who’s leaning against the chimney, eyes half-lidded in exhaustion. senior year is getting to him, changbin realises, as he twists the top tightly. he used to be more lively, now he’s just drained out. he looks bleak. 

 

changbin nudges his leg and passes him the joint, in hopes of lightening him up again. felix shakes off the drowsiness and puts it to his mouth, urging changbin to light it up. they face each other as he does, felix’s eyes diverted to the side. he takes a puff, coughing up silently. then another. then he passes to changbin. 

 

“you wanna talk about it?” he asks felix, resting his hand on his thigh, rubbing gently. felix takes it and laces their fingers. he shakes his head.

 

“no…no. no, it’s nothing,” he replies, voice strained. “just wanted to take a break.”

 

changbin can understand. he knows felix spends his days rotting away in confinement in every way possible. school early in the morning, where he works his ass off trying to keep up with his classes. he often does his assignments for the afternoon classes during the morning ones, or on breaks. at lunch, changbin catches him dozing off at times, the minimal rest he gets before the day continues. then there’s work, a few hour busboy shift in the local diner every day. changbin drives him, after the third time felix missed his stop because he fell asleep on the bus. he offered to take him back as well, but felix denies, not wanting to inconvenience him. his shift ends late and by the time he gets back home, he can’t think anymore. he wakes up again in the morning, earlier than necessary to finish off any work for school he can. 

 

just thinking about it makes changbin feel like he’s locked up. it’s a cycle that continues throughout the week. they used to spend the weekends together, now it’s more sporadic with how busy felix is. he called changbin at nine, when the sun was already setting, asking if it’s okay for him to come over. he sounded so out of it, so unlike himself, it almost made changbin question whether it was really him. the boy next to him is definitely felix, but looks like the shadow of his former self. 

 

it takes a while for the weed to kick in, but changbin notices the way felix first rests his head in the crook of his neck, only pulling away for another drag. he leans closer, finding changbin a suitable pillar. he gets fidgety, shifts his position continuously, making changbin chuckle.

 

“need some help?” he asks, watching felix frown and notices his eyes narrow in concentration. he huffs, shuffling to lay his head on changbin’s lap and stretches. 

 

“comfy,” he notes, looking at the darkening night sky, “my back hurt like shit.”

 

“stop hunching, then,” felix glares at him menacingly, making him laugh. he throws his head back and closes his eyes. he inhales, enjoying the chilly midnight air. there are no stars out, just a dark, smog-covered sky, not much of a view. 

 

“i wanna run away,” felix blurts out, “like for real. we could just run away. you have a driving license, it all makes sense.”

 

changbin brings his focus back to him, brushing the strands of bleached hair from his forehead, “it’s dumb. we have to catch a freight train. people who run away always jump freight trains.”

 

“we need both,” felix reasons, “like, when you have movies.”

 

“yeah?”

 

“and you have that road in the mountains. and you, like, drive. that’s fun.”

 

“point made,” he traces felix’s eyebrows, then the curve of his cheekbone, the outline of his nose. “what about the train?”

 

felix scrunches, “you take the car, i jump the train and you’ll follow me.”

 

he would, “where do we go?”

 

“uh, dunno. the beach. i wanna live on a beach,” felix states. changbin is delighted to see the familiar glint return to his eyes. he thumbs the dark circles under them, careful not to be too harsh. no matter how much the younger strains himself, his body, it’s still fragile to changbin. “where do you wanna live, changbin?”

 

“i’m okay with the beach,” he dodges the question. the street lamps illuminate felix’s face and he glows so effortlessly in their light. “i like swimming.”

 

“me, too,” the younger smiles, dopey but charming, “i would go every day. would you go with me?”

 

“i’d go with you,” changbin plays with his earlobe, pinching it softly.

 

“i hate work,” felix whines, turning to his side and hiding his face in changbin’s chest. his hand instinctively reaches out to the back of the younger’s head to cradle him, the other placed on his waist. “i hate school.”

 

everything must be taking a toll on him, the realisation heartbreaking to changbin. he pats felix’s head delicately to calm him down. felix has big dreams, bigger than he can fathom, but lacks opportunities. still, adamant and headstrong, he slaves off to create them. he’s not very well-off, so he needs a scholarship for college. he wants to move out of their little town after high school and he puts aside all the money he earns, knowing his parents supporting him is even more of a pipe dream than college.

 

changbin runs his fingers through his hair, massaging the scalp, “did you talk to your mom about the money?”

 

“tried. she told me she doesn’t get why i need to go to college.”

 

“dumb bitch,” felix grins.

 

“i knew you’d get it. bet she’s just pissy ‘coz my dad’s outta town again.”

 

his dad had a habit of leaving, unannounced, for reasons felix never disclosed. changbin doesn’t press, but he’s worried. felix has given up on a good relationship with his father years ago, but it’s not that easy to stop caring about him. felix cares so much about everything it exhausts him more than work and school. he once confessed that the once thing that hurts him the most is how no one ever reciprocates the sentiment. 

 

“you’ll find out soon, right? if you got in?”

 

felix applied early decision, so as december rolled around, a letter was due in no time. he nods and starts to laugh, the sound vibrating against changbin’s stomach.

 

“dude, it will be so funny if i don’t get in.”

 

“you’ll get in,” changbin assures, but felix just rolls onto his back again, unable to control his fit of laughter. 

 

“it’s hilarious. like literally mental. roll me another one,” he beams and changbin isn’t one to deny him. 

 

“just don’t fall off of my roof,” he grins. 

 

“okay, i’ll find another one to fall off,” changbin’s head is swimming, so even felix’s dry humour knocks him dead. he lifts the younger’s head off of his lap to lie down beside him and lights up the joint. 

 

“do the funny thing you do,” felix pleads.

 

“with the smoke?”

 

“with the smoke.”

 

he blows smoke rings, much to felix’s amusement. he claps enthusiastically, like a kid at a circus. to say changbin finds it endearing would be an understatement. he’s tried teaching felix how to do it before, but he couldn’t get the hang of it. he lets felix take a puff, turning onto his side to get a better view. 

 

he’s pretty, felix. pretty eyes, pretty smile. he likes the way his nose curves, the way his chin blends into his neck. the features of his face are delicate, but well defined. he looks as felix blows out the smoke haphazardly, watches it disappear into the sky. 

 

“i want you to go to college,” he says. “i don’t know if i wanna go to college myself. but i’d go with you.”

 

changbin knows what he’ll do in the future. he’ll fix cars, that’s what he does well. he enjoys it, too, always has. he works part-time at a car repair shop, knows the ropes already. he doesn’t need to be certified, according to his boss at least, he’s good enough. 

 

“it’s just college,” felix sighs, but changbin knows it’s never been the case. it means so much more to felix, who wants to get out of their town, make a name for himself. he wants to do big things and changbin knows he’s able to. there’s something special about felix, something he can’t quite pinpoint, that makes him stand out. he’s quick, he’s bright, like his brain works different, better. 

 

“no, it’s not,” changbin shakes his head, “don’t you wanna leave?”

 

felix doesn’t need to reply, they both know. felix hates texas with every fibre of his being, hates the constraint of their town, hates feeling locked up in a home that doesn’t feel like one. he deserves so much more.

 

“why do you even care?” he chuckles, but he starts coughing up. he clears his throat from the smoke. 

 

“i care about you,” changbin says, frankly. he moves closer, clasps his hand around felix’s. the younger rests his forehead against changbin’s chest, their linked hands in between them. he raises his head up, finally. 

 

“can i stay over?” he asks.

 

“won’t your mom be worried?”

 

“she won’t even notice. she doesn’t care,” he smiles. “we could really run away, she wouldn’t even bat an eyelid. that’s such a funny idiom. bat an eyelid.” 

 

changbin laughs with him, “if you really wanna run away, just let me know, i'd have to stock up.” he gestures at the almost empty plastic ziplock.

 

“sorry for stealing your weed,” felix giggles.

 

“it’s okay, you stoner,” changbin laughs, “just want you to be happy.”

 

“i’m happy,” felix tells him, earnest in his high. he presses his lips to changbin’s cheeks, making his breath hitch. he doesn’t pull away, leaves tiny pecks along his jawline. then he kisses him, cupping changbin’s face gently. 

 

he closes his eyes and squeezes felix’s hand, still intertwined with his own. he smiles, before pulling away. it’s not a rare occurrence, felix is particularly affectionate when they’re high. they don’t talk about it when they’re sober, but changbin remembers everything. it’s not something that can escape his memory that easily, the feeling of felix’s lips on his, them so close together, where he thinks he belongs.

 

felix giggles, bringing them back together. changbin would kill for this to last forever. when they pull away, somehow he thinks he can see stars in the sky. 

 

“i’m in love with you,” he mumbles, overwhelmed. felix stiffens next to him, but it’s barely noticeable. 

 

“you’re stoned, that’s what you are,” felix tells him. changbin drops it. he wishes he’d have enough courage to confront this sober. he’s too tired to think about it, his head a little dizzy from the weed and from felix. he lies his head on his chest, humming softly when felix reaches out to toy with his hair. 

 

saturday nights end like this, them falling asleep close to each other back in changbin’s room. in the morning, felix has to go back to work. changbin watches him leave from the rooftop. their eyes meet as felix gives him one last smile, one last wave and disappears. 

**Author's Note:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/midzyonce)   
>  [buy me a ko-fi](http://ko-fi.com/joonswig)


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